I Miss Mayberry

I miss Mayberry--ok, I've never been to Mayberry; don't know if there really is one. I guess I miss the "essence" of what Mayberry represented.

You see, Opie & I are the same age. And my childhood was much like his--small town, values, respect, honesty--all those traits that made life in Mayberry seem so unreal. And yet they were. And, lately, I miss those simple, understated traits so very much.

I miss knowing my neighbors. Granted this is my own fault--who has time to get to know the neighbors, or even visit with the ones you do know, when the race of getting through life has become so fast paced! The last time I saw my NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR was at the funeral of a mutual friend. My neighbor was my employer for more than a decade, and now I don't see him at all. And when we do see the neighbors in the yard, we scurry past, maybe wave, cause we don't want to impose on their time.

I miss shopping here in town. Oh, I still try, but like everyone else in the world, I'm looking for the store with the most variety and the best prices. At the expense of forcing my home town merchants to carry less than premium stock, and reduce the selections. And then I gripe about what I can't get here! I like walking into the local grocery store and having the manager greet me with "hey how are you today? how's the husband and kids?" Yes, he actually knows that about me. He watched me grow up--his sister even babysat for my kids for a time. I miss the local clothing store. The one where you went in and the owner's wife would strike up a conversation and talk your leg off---maybe even offer you some of her homemade cooking that she had in the back. I think everyone female in my family (except me!) worked for them during the holiday season! My sister tells how she & her girlfriend would drive the owner nuts using way too much ribbon on presents only to have him rant at them about waste. They would respond "oh, we'll be more careful"; as soon as he was out of earshot they giggled like little girls and went on about their business of driving him nuts--yes, they used the extra ribbon just to push his buttons! And then, if you had a family tragedy of any sort, there were the owner & his wife bringing you large plates of food and sympathy. That hasn't happened too much with me & J C Penny!

I miss the respect of the kids in the town. When I was a kid, we had a respectful fear for all adults, regardless of what they wore, what they drove, where they worked. We knew if an adult spoke, we should listen. And if that adult represented authority (teacher, policeman, etc.) word had better not get back to mom & dad that we "dissed" them! They'd have us by the ear, skipping at break neck speed to apologize and offer to clean their windows--or whatever other form of retribution we could offer. We certainly didn't talk back. And we didn't tear up their possessions, lawns, streets, storefronts, etc. If we got in trouble at school, katy-bar-the-door when mom & dad found out. They actually TRUSTED that teachers & principals were adult enough to lead & discipline! And they actually UNDERSTOOD that children would color stories to their benefit!

I miss one car families, moms who stayed home, homemade clothes, one TV per household, no cell phones, porches made for use, church socials, mowing one's own lawn, new shoes at Easter and the start of school, chores that had to be finished by day's end, the county fair, HS football games, homeroom moms, homemade Valentine cards, --- I guess the list could go on and on. And I am just as guilty of anyone in my greed for the American Dream. Only, I think the jokes on all of us because it's the American Fantasy! We have conditioned ourselved to want more, more, more and we don't even enjoy what we have. You know, in those buildings we put in the back yard full of our "things" that sit unused and rotting. But we HAD to have them.

I miss only having what we needed at the moment, and saving for what we thought we might want later. Sometimes we found we didn't even really want them enough to spend what we had saved.

Ok, so I'm a bit nostalgic for the old days--won't even say they were good--they were just more stable. I miss stability. I miss Mayberry.

Summer Approaches

I just received an email from Spiegel---the new swimsuit & travel fashions are available--YIPPEE!!!

Is anyone else out there so "summerphobic" as I? I can't remember the last time I actually WORE a swimsuit. I only wear them when I'm in a group of WOMEN who look like I do in a swimsuit--you know, the cast of Cocoon! I own a couple. They were suitable in the day. Now, if I broke down and put one on, I'm afraid it would do irreparable damage to my psyche.

Granted, hubby says "oh you look fine" when I mention that I won't wear one, but then he says that about nearly anything I appear out of the changing room in---and I can still evaluate the mirror's image. And the camera's. And I know he actually just wants to stay in this marriage with benefits.

There was a time, even after I gave birth, that I would wear swimsuits to the lake, on the boats, etc. That time has "gone with the wind". Considering cellulite, spider veins (that could road map in detail the entire street system of NYC), pasty white legs, belly fat (nope, none of those infomercials worked), etc, etc, I don't think anyone above the point of being inebriated to the passing out stage, would want me to show up at their pool in a swimsuit.

So what to do? Well, most men won't realize this, but gals--don't you wear big t-shirts or shorts over you suits? If you don't, and still look fashionable in yours, I HATE YOU!!! This is not a feeling I'm asking the good Lord to help me overcome. I am reveling in this hate--and the fact that you have the time to spend at the gym/tanning salon.

Ok Spiegel, thanks for the reminder! I'm sure you won't miss my order.

Thanks John Mellencamp

I have always loved this song--it pretty much sums up my life:

Well I was born in a small town
And I live in a small town
Prob'ly die in a small town
Oh, those small communities.

All my friends are so small town
My parents live in the same small town
My job is so small town
Provides little opportunity.

Educated in a small town
Taught the fear of Jesus in a small town
Like to daydream in that small town
Another boring romantic that's me.

But I've seen it all in a small town
Had myself a ball in a small town
Married an LA doll and brought her to this small town
Now she's small town just like me.

No I cannot forget where it is that I come from
I cannot forget the people who love me
Yeah, I can be myself here in this small town
And people let me be just what I want to be.

Got nothing against a big town
Still hayseed enough to say
Look who's in the big town
But my bed is in a small town
And that's good enough for me.

Well I was born in a small town
And I can breathe in a small town
Gonna die in this small town
And that's prob'ly where they'll bury me.


I love my small town. An ex-family member used to make so much fun of the family cause of our small town ways. Like going to town and knowing who was running the stores; who was walking towards us; asking about all the current events of life. People in small towns really care.



An older member of this small town passed away this week. His grandson's classmates from HS days all rushed to "grandmas" house to pay their respects. Each one you came into contact with said "hey did you hear so and so's dad passed?" The man was 81, had been married to his sweetheart for 64 years, raised 4 children, and will be sorely missed.



I don't think the passing of a community "pillar" is missed as greatly in a big town--at least not by the community at large. This small town will miss seeing him at his great grandchildren's sporting events; at the school fundraisers; around town just looking for someone to pass the time with.



Grandpa J was raised in a small town, married his HS sweetheart, moved to a big town to operate a business, and then moved back to a small town where his heart was. He died in a small town, and is going to be buried in a small town.




Thanks John Mellencamp for putting into words the life that so many of us hold dear!

Have You Been Confirmed?

I've been confirmed this week---3 times!! If you don't know about Facebook, well, ask someone.


Wouldn't it have been easy if this "confirmation" of new friends had happened back in high school? You could post your name on a wall, list the people you were interested in getting to know and then they could come by & mark "confirmed" or "not interested". It would have made life so much easier!


Instead, in my case (which I admit to being soooo insecure), I tried the "I wanna be popular" options. You know--schmooze up to all the "already popular" ones, go to all the "popular" places, try all the "popular" trends. And, not enjoying much of any of the "popular" requirements! The "already popular" ones had their quota of friends necessary to retain their status. We "hangers around" simply confirmed their "popularity". And what made that popularity anyway??? Was it the fact that their clothes were more fashionable? Well, that certainly shows integrity! Was it that they had a never-ending supply of spending money? Hmm, they showed their financial savy young huh? In my hindsight, I have come to the conclusion that the "already popular" ones (girls in my instance) were a bit "racey" (don't want to point fingers here). That made them popular with a capital P with the boys! And, as I have attended several reunions at which the tongues wagged, I found much to my dismay, that the racier the more popular.


As far as clothing -- I attended school in the "pre fashion design logos" day. If you had a different outfit for 5 days running (without having to mix & match) you were stylin! And other fashionistas pointed out how "popular" that made you! Some less fortunate, like moi, had mothers who knew how to stretch the dollar---our clothes were homemade----dispair! Little did I realize how talented my mom was--I wish I had her gift for making clothing today! She could whip out an outfit in no time, and let me tell you---it was WELL MADE!!! (read never wore out!!!). But I wanted those store bought clothes and the status that went with it.



About the never ending supply of money---here again, I didn't know the magnitude of the lesson my parents were teaching me as they made me work for extra cash. I realize now that many of the parents who doled out the moolah were trying to make up for dysfunction in parenting! Or for being away from the kids for so long--Or for not wanting to be with their kids! I just thought the "popular" ones were wealthy beyond belief! They didn't work, they had cars, they could buy beer & cigarettes at will, they bought their popularity. While I had my needs taken care of, I learned that hard work will pay. And that the items I purchased with my own earned cash meant more to me that some of the things the others had. I took better care of my things. Hmmm, another lesson learned.


So where am I going with this? South I fear!!! Oh yea--confirmation. I have been confirmed on Facebook---and you know what? The confirmations have come from friends I have lost touch with---for the simple fact that they, too, have been working diligently most of their lives to provide for their families, and they have spent hour upon hour taking good care of their possessions.



Where are the "most populars"? Let's see---I can think of 3 of the HS jocks that EVERYONE wanted to date: one had been in prison for too many DUIs, one is on his 5th marriage--I heard he had a herion problem for many years; and the third is in another state--staying there to escape child support. And to support his heavy drinking.


And the gals? Let's see--the 3 most popular? One was divorced while her children were young--her ex (who has passed away) was physically abusive to her. One moved away right after HS but I found that her life didn't have the happy ending she imagined. Too many problems to go into here. And another ended up a meth addict- in and out of rehab.



Now this is not to say that all of the "populars" failed. Many, many succeeded. I just have learned that I wasn't meant to be a HS popular. It would have ruined me. I wouldn't have taken care to be the best I can be.


No, instead, by having to find my own confidence (confirmation) I have ended up on the better side of my own life! I've learned what true friendship is and how to cultivate that wisely. I've learned how to align my priorities with what is truly important in life. I've learned to gauge spending and use wisdom in what material things I gain. I've learned so much more. I'm glad I wasn't an "instant popular" one.



Good night.

Phooey!!!

Well, dang it, we have just added to the number of people on unemployment!!!


Hubby showed up at the door of my kitchen at 9:00 a.m. this morning; we knew it was probably coming, but when you've dodged the bullet on several other layoffs, you kind of get that "invincible" feeling. No more! We are very "vincible" (is that even a word????) and now are among the ranks of those who will file for unemployment! It kind of kicks you in the stomach! But we know we will make it just fine---we know God will provide. And we need so little anymore! AND---I now have another employee & vehicle, so we can take more catering jobs! How's that for making lemonade?? We don't have bookings for tomorrow (probably a good thing), but we are fully booked for Thursday, and also for next Monday & Tuesday. And for Tues, Wed, and Thurs evenings. And that's all before the phone starts ringing and those "day before" bookings come in. See?? It's going to be just fine!!!




The bad side is that as of Feb 28 we have no insurance! Here's how we've jumped that hurdle--hubby went to the dentist today & had all necessary work done, and tomorrow he is going to the eye doctor and get up to date on all his needs there. And I will refill prescriptions tomorrow. Ha ha ha---we'll show them!! We'll make the most of the last few days of coverage we have!!!





You know, in the big scheme of things, life could be sooooo much worse! We are healthy---our kids are grown & have their own jobs---we have less debt than we have ever, EVER had before (thanks Dave Ramsey), so we'll just go forward with God on our side, and with thanks for what we have.




BTW---did you see 20/20 last Friday night? The show titled "Children of the Applachians"? Now THAT makes me grateful. And makes me understand how privileged and pampered we really are. It broke my heart to watch that---and I now HAVE to talk to our Missions Committee about what we can do.






Well, that's all for now. Life is good. God is good.

Happy Heart Day!

It's Valentines's Day---I hope you have a happy one!

Me? Well, I have to work today to make Valentine's Day special for some others. I have a dinner to prepare & serve for a local church. And last night I prepared & served a rehearsal dinner. (Well, me & my faithful staff!) The rehearsal dinner was at the Will Rogers Birthplace--the dinner was held in an enclosed portion of a barn that is rented out for use. It has huge windows on the east end that over look the large lake. The barn adjoins the enclosure, so one gets the sights & sounds of the farm. And it was just lovely! It's miles out of town, sits on a dead end road and is surrounded by only nature! I'm wanting to find a reason to book the room for personal use!!!

In all of the hustle & bustle of this week, I did find time to get Hank's valentine to him (via his mom). I found some Lighting McQueen rain boots---he's gonna love those! And I was able to send cookies to his mom & dad, and drop some off for my son. I also took my son's girlfriend to lunch on Thursday----so! all bases covered! AND, I was able to work in my hair appointment. Now, THAT was important. Especially if you had seen my "true colors" coming through! So, all's well with the hair world.

Sunday evening the Ya Ya's are going to finally, FINALLY, get together! We haven't been together since the Saturday after Christmas, and I'm needing some "Ya Ya Therapy"!!! We're going to eat & back to Ya Ya Carol Ann's to watch The Secret Life of Bees. Can't wait!

It's another busy time for the kitchen. I am so grateful that I have each and every day filled with orders, sometimes two & three orders, and I do love what I am doing, BUT I gotta tell ya---I am seriously needing some time off. I would love---LLOOOOVVVEEE---about a week of down time. And each time I see a day of opportunity someone calls that I can't turn down---or calls with a large number lunch---and I'm at it again. In this economic slump, I'm just afraid of not stockpiling the checking account!!! So, maybe I'll get some time in the spring. The house is saving all that cleaning for me---no elves coming in during the day or late at night to help out. We're just treading water in that regard! Keeping dishes washed & clothes clean! One of these days Boomer & Abby have GOT to learn to help out!!!

Well, it's early on Saturday, I want to read the paper, and then heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to the kitchen I go.

Have a great day----EAT CHOCOLATE!!!

Exhale---

This is such a bad picture I'm surprised I'm posting it!! Got to do something with that hair!!! Anyway, this was at the Chamber of Commerce regular meeting today where I was the "featured speaker"---now don't get all excited. It's not really THAT big of a deal.

The fun part was that I put together a DVD called "A Tale of Two Towns" paralleling two communities--one that was surly and rude and one that was friendly and welcoming. The local librarian & I were the "stars". Yes, Mr. Mayer--I'm ready for my close-up.

It was fun, funny and I'm glad it's over. The moral of the story was that we have to sell our personalities in this day & age to compete with the offerings of larger communities. Bla Bla or something like that.

Well, that and working 2 and 3 lunches every day this week, and now preparing for a dinner for 225 on Saturday has made for one very tired actress! If only I had the perks of Hollywood stars--I could call for my masseuse, my pedicurist, my manicurist, and my personal assistant, and have tomorrow's work done for me. All while I was sipping on some ridiculously spirited frothy drink, and reading a new script!!!

I have all these crafts I want to do, I want to clean house, I want to read a magazine from front cover to last word. Oh well, that will come in time. Right now? I'm preparing for sleep.

By the way--does anyone out there know anything about dreams and their meanings? Please help me out with this one. Last night I dreamt that I was, ummm, how shall I say this, "with" Teddy Kennedy!!!!!!! We were quite an item!!! Now why in the name of all that is sacred and republican, would I have this kind of dream???? Am I wanting recognition? Am I wanting a larger family? Am I wanting a rousing game of touch football?????? This was so weird that I kept replaying it in my mind all day---not a pretty sight!!!

So, wonder what tonight will bring???????

See ya later!!