Summer Approaches

I just received an email from Spiegel---the new swimsuit & travel fashions are available--YIPPEE!!!

Is anyone else out there so "summerphobic" as I? I can't remember the last time I actually WORE a swimsuit. I only wear them when I'm in a group of WOMEN who look like I do in a swimsuit--you know, the cast of Cocoon! I own a couple. They were suitable in the day. Now, if I broke down and put one on, I'm afraid it would do irreparable damage to my psyche.

Granted, hubby says "oh you look fine" when I mention that I won't wear one, but then he says that about nearly anything I appear out of the changing room in---and I can still evaluate the mirror's image. And the camera's. And I know he actually just wants to stay in this marriage with benefits.

There was a time, even after I gave birth, that I would wear swimsuits to the lake, on the boats, etc. That time has "gone with the wind". Considering cellulite, spider veins (that could road map in detail the entire street system of NYC), pasty white legs, belly fat (nope, none of those infomercials worked), etc, etc, I don't think anyone above the point of being inebriated to the passing out stage, would want me to show up at their pool in a swimsuit.

So what to do? Well, most men won't realize this, but gals--don't you wear big t-shirts or shorts over you suits? If you don't, and still look fashionable in yours, I HATE YOU!!! This is not a feeling I'm asking the good Lord to help me overcome. I am reveling in this hate--and the fact that you have the time to spend at the gym/tanning salon.

Ok Spiegel, thanks for the reminder! I'm sure you won't miss my order.